Thursday 26/10/2000 – GENERAL ELECTION SPECIAL A Plague On Both Your Houses! LATE EXTRA The Just Say No campaign seems to have had a profound effect on the British voter – that and the way Angus McBlair's Government has handle taxation and major projects like the Millennium Dome. The turn-out looks set to be the lowest ever for a general election and the news from the exit polls is not good for the present government. Not that it's any better for the Opposition. The British public looks likely to have sent a strong message to the nation's politicians – and that message is Clean up your act or we won't vote for you.    Analysis of the exit polls suggests that the few people who bothered to vote have been indulging in tactical voting on a massive scale. Fringe parties and the Lib-Dems are the main beneficiaries, and what looks certain is that no single party will have an overall majority – shades of Harold Wilson's government in the Sixties. It may be possible for the Prime Minister to stitch together a coalition of some sort but it is unlikely to cling together for very long. filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk]

Friday 27/10/2000 – GENERAL ELECTION SPECIAL Oh, No! We've Got To Do It All Over Again! Nowhere near an overall majority for either major party is the story of the election, and it looks like we'll just have to do it all over again very soon. The Labour party vote has been split by the intervention of Independent Labour and Real Labour candidates, leaving the McBlair Labour Party the largest in the House but almost 50 bodies short of an overall majority.    It is understood that the 43 Independent and Real Labour MPs will support McBlair's Labour government on all Socialist issues. A coalition of the opposition parties large enough to challenge a cautious McBlair regime looks unlikely. So we seem to be doomed to a (relatively brief) period of business as usual until Mr. McBlair is feeling brave enough to place himself at the mercy of the British electorate again.    One clear message to come out of the fiasco is that the politicians are going to have to make some irrevocable commitments to cleaning up their act. And they're also going to have to address the wishes of an increasingly militant British public. It's no good for the Prime Minister to go on TV and tell the public that he's listening when he's clearly listening only to his cronies on issues like Europe, the Millennium Dome and similar vastly expensive projects, taxation levels on fuel and all sorts of other consumables, red-tape and a host of other issues.    "If you don't do what we want, we won't just stay at home and not vote for you, we'll go out and vote for someone else to make sure that you don't get elected." That's the challenge which the British people have made to the major political parties. The next move is up to them.    Rumour has it that Pierson McAndelsen, the PM's chief crony, had hired one of the Millennium Dome's peripherals for a lavish victory celebration – which would be held at the taxpayer's expense. Let us hope that this particular abuse won't survive exposure to the light of day. Official Election Result: McBlair Labour – 284 Conservative – 251 Liberal – 42 Others – 39 Real Labour – 27 Independent Labour – 16 filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk]

Thursday 02/11/2000 Dome Attendances Up! Lucrio Sospettoso Photo: Tim deLong While the rest of the country is reeling and trying to come to terms with what the recent demonstration of voter-power means, life is rosy at the Millennium Dome. It may be something to do with the decision by Mr. McBlair's caretaker government to cut the basic ticket price in half and make entry free for pensioners. Or it may be that the new attractions rushed in to fill up some of the empty space are actually things that people want to see.    Whatever the reason, attendances are 'above the viable level' and there is something of a party atmosphere inside the Dome. Souvenir sales are hitting new heights and there must be a broad smile on the face of Signor Lucrio Sospettoso, the new owner of the Dome, because it does seem to have changed hands.    The Heritage Ministry has no comment to make about the switch from 'worthy but dull' to 'fun' as the philosophy behind the Dome's new exhibits, but somewhere along the line, it now seems clear, the previous Government just abandoned its plan to keep control of the Dome until the new year and surrendered control to the Sospettoso Organization.    One thing you can count on it that if Signor Sospettoso looks like making a mountain of dosh out of the Dome, the people who sold it to him are going to be running for cover in a shower of accusations of selling off the nation's heritage for peanuts. You just can't win if you're a politican! As quite a few long-standing MPs found out in last week's massacre. filed by Dana Howmaj [d.howmaj@md.news.uk]

Tuesday 07/11/2000 DOME CONFERENCE The Labour Party's grass roots have spoken and they're not going to be done out of their party conference – and they're going to hold it in the Millennium Dome's new conference facility when Parliament breaks up for its Christmas Hols. A nice present for Mr. McBlair – not!    Prime Minister Angus McBlair is looking increasingly stressed as he struggles to hold together his coalition of Labour, Lib-Dem and Odds-&-Sods. Now, he has the Labour Party at large to watch out for. A good, thick, back-stab-proof vest would be a good pre-Christmas present for your hubbie, Mrs. McB! filed by Luca Varn-Haight [lvh@md.news.uk]

Wednesday 08/11/2000 Dome Diamond Heist Real entertainment came to the Millennium Dome yesterday in the form of an attempted robbery. The target was the collection of diamonds displayed by the De Beers company in the Business Zone. Worth an estimated £350 million, the collection includes the fabulous Millennium Star, the third largest diamond in the world.    Unfortunately, for the thieves, the police knew that they were coming. And when they crashed into the Dome on a hi-jacked JCB digger, they found over 100 police officers, some of them armed, waiting for them to arrive. Worse, the diamond collection had been replaced by fakes as a routine precaution.    Police have arrested a gang of 12. The four who assaulted the Dome, one manning the decoy getaway speedboat on the river and a lookout on the far bank of the Thames were all arrested at the time of the robbery attempt. The Flying Squad collected six associates in follow-up raids in various parts of London and Kent, most of them within one hour of the assault on the Dome.    The Dome's advertisers gave it the operating slogan 'One truly amazing day out'. Today's performance certainly was amazing! A spokesman for New Scotland Yard revealed that detectives have been watching the gang for "a period of months". It is believed that the raiders were planning to demand a ransom of £40 million from De Beers for the safe return of the collection, which also includes 13 rare blue diamonds.    Scotland Yard knew that the robbery would be timed to coincide with high tide on the Thames and the thieves were planning to escape disguised as Dome staff while the police chased their decoy speedboat. Unable to get too close to the gang for fear of warning them off, the Flying Squad has set up the ambush at the Dome at least twenty times before. Yesterday, they achieved their amazing success.    Executives of A New Millennium Dawn, the Dome's managing quango, a number of key staff and the Dome Secretary, Dame Alice Wrathe, were all informed of the planned robbery and the police took extensive precautions to ensure the complete safety of the public.    When the raiders crashed in through a plexiglass door at 9:26 a.m., the four dozen visitors in the area were ushered to safety by police officers disguised as cleaners and fellow visitors. Operation Merlin was already in full swing with police officers setting up a 100 metre exclusion zone around the Dome.    Detective Chief Superintendent Paul Armour, the officer in charge, told reporters, "The safest thing to do was let the thieves trap themselves inside the vaults where the gems were held. If we had moved against them earlier, we would have risked violent men, possibly armed, taking visitors hostage."    As well as officers inside and outside the Dome, the police presence included officers in a helicopter and River Police launches on the Thames. The idea behind the defensive operation, Chief Superintendent Armour said, was to bring to bear overwhelming force so that the raiders had no option but to surrender quietly.    Dame Alice Wrathe, chief executive of ANMD, said, "We have known about the threat for weeks, of course, and our immediate concern was the safety of the visiting public. We have been working closely with Scotland Yard and I have nothing but praise for the way the police officers did their duty."    Campbell McAllister, Prime Minister pro tem Angus McBlair's media guru, put out a lengthy press release which praised the police to the rooftops while listing the anti-crime initiatives which the McBlair administration has put in place. The sheer volume meant that most commentators chose not to wade through it to eliminate the spin and double-counting, and most just went with the obvious sound-bite on page one.    Sir Tom Todhunter, leader of the coalition which has bought the Dome, provided a slightly different view. He said, "The police told us that something was going on at the Dome but we chose not to press for specifics on security grounds. I'm as surprised as anyone at what happened."    All that the Dome's new operators have to worry about now is how to follow yesterday's free show! filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk]  | The Millennium Star |

Thursday 09/11/2000 Dome Diamond Heist? McAndelsen: "publicity stunt?" Photo: Oliver Strange Agency A shock result to a question tagged on to a political opinion poll held yesterday is that just 13% of those questioned believed that there was a genuine robbery attempt at the Millennium Dome. For the benefit of those who have been asleep for the last few days -- on Tuesday, crowds of armed police arrested a gang of thieves, who attempted to ram-raid the De Beers Millenium Diamond – worth £300-400 million – and millions of pounds worth of other diamonds. Or did they?    Most people questioned in the poll said that they thought it was a publicity stunt engineered by the Dome's new owners to create interest in the somewhat dull Business Zone. Significantly, 37% of respondents said that they believed that the robbery story had been dreamed up by Pierson McAndelsen, still Prime Minister pro tempore Angus McBlair's Minister of Heritage and chief crony. And the point of the stunt? To take the spotlight off Mr. McAndelsen's struggling leader for a while.    Mr. McBlair is reported to be hurt and outraged by the public's cynical attitude; and aware that his praise of the Metropolitan police's efficiency was, perhaps, a little too gushing – if not totally over-the-top. Opposition parties have already branded it a disgusting display of a politician crawling for votes. filed by Maris O'Vishke [m.ov@md.news.uk]

Friday 10/11/2000 More 'Dome Squad' Arrests New Scotland Yard's Dome Squad made four more arrests in connection with alleged fraud over consultancy fees for Millennium Dome-related projects. The police are being unusually tight-lipped on this one, but leaks suggest that a number of people with 'friends in high places' have been padding their fees rather too shamelessly.    At the Dome itself, plans to revamp it are well in hand. The next step forward involves installing several transparent panels in the roof and creating garden areas under them. There will be full-grown trees imported into what amounts to a Mediterranean micro-climate in two Back To Nature Zones. Freed from the leaden hands of politicians trying to be worthy, the Dome is starting to look like a very jolly place to be! filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk]

Monday 13/11/2000 Hawksbane's Version of History Hawksbane: his fingerprints The latest leak from 'Discontented of Domeland' has put Lord Hawksbane in even hotter water; assuming that is humanly possible.    An official history of the dome project with the title Regeneration of Greenwich: The Dome Story was published when the 'national treasure' was finally opened in July.    The leaked documents show that Lord Hawksbane's fingerprints are all over both the final drafts of the book, and that he effectively rewrote parts of it to show the government in a better light.    It is also alleged that his minions have been busy with their shredders to eliminate competition for his preferred version of the Dome's story. The 28 specific charges of interference include: Removal of a section of the book which referred to Prime Minister McBlair's indecision over whether to pick up the Tories' Dome project in 1997. Giving the author of the book, journalist Bobert Nichols, MBE, an honour as a bribe to persuade him put the government in a more competent light. Deleting references to opposition to the Dome project by senior ministers, including Chancellor George McDour, as 'inaccurate'. Removing Culture Secretary David Jones's suggestion that a smaller Dome project would be wiser. Striking out all reference to police investigations into the Dome's contracts. Lord Hawksbane is also accused of trying to tamper with the National Audit Commission's report on the Dome's finances; specifically that he tried to prevent the auditors from spelling out the full extent of the failure to control the Dome's finances. When Opposition leader Winston Hardcastle asked the Prime Minister in the Commons whether there would be any ministerial resignations when the Audit Commission's report is published officially, Prime Minister McBlair told him to 'wait and see'.    Any reasonable person would conclude from what is being said about Lord Hawksbane is that he is either (a) guilty of letting the Dome project become an absolute disaster then seeking to conceal his part in the fiasco, or (b) a vain incompetent, who had no idea what was going on around him. In either event, he is unworthy of the confidence and patronage of a competent Prime Minister. Which probably explains why Lord Hawksbane and Angus McBlair are both still clinging to office and still refusing to acknowledge their mistakes, let alone apologize for them. filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk]

Tuesday 14/11/2000 'Dark Dome' Emergency Plan Leaked Prime Minister Angus McBlair ordered his minions to draw up an emergency plan to cover the possibility that no one would want to buy the Millennium Dome. A leak from the offices of the New Millennium Commission had revealed that the top option was just to mothball the Dome. This option was favoured because it would spare the McBlair administration the embarrassment of having to order the demolition of the structure.    According to the 'Dark Dome' option, the contents would have been cleared, the site cleaned and secured, and the Dome would have been allowed to rot quietly while the government waited for another potential buyer to come forward. While its critics favour demolishing the Dome and selling the site as a business park, the report suggests that Chancellor George McDour was unwilling to cough up the £40million cost of flattening the Dome.    Another major consider was that Prime Minister McBlair was planning to hold a general election in May, 2001, although events have overtaken him somewhat. He most certainly did not want to hold an election to the backdrop of a half-demolished Dome. So spending a mere £1million per quarter of taxpayer's cash keeping the Dome intact but empty seemed like money well-spent to the image-conscious Mr. McBlair. filed by Erik Voth [ej.voth@md.news.uk]

Thursday 16/11/2000 DOME BLAME LEAK McBlair: "He's to blame!" Photo: Oliver Strange Agency Prime Minister Angus McBlair is to blame for the Dome – or is he? Someone has leaked what is alleged to be a record of a cabinet meeting held within weeks of the McBlair government's landslide election victory in 1997. If genuine, this is the sort of document which is supposed to be buried in the archives under the "Forty Year Rule" to prevent embarrassment to those concerned during their active political life. And embarrassment there certainly is!    Just before he abandons his Cabinet for a more important meeting, Mr. McBlair tells them that the Millennium Dome provides the new regime with, "a unique opportunity to rebrand the country and leave an indelible footprint in history." Several of his colleagues, including Chancellor George McDour, voice doubts after the Prime Minister's departure but the PM's Chief Crony, Pierson McAndelsen, keeps reminding them that Angus knows best and they all fall into line.    Significantly, the Chancellor said yesterday that he has "no recollection of the meeting or the comments attributed to him." Even more significant are the comments of a number of former cabinet ministers, who were present at the meeting in question and were subsequently sacked or failed to win re-election.    They are all convinced that Mr. McDour would not have spoken out in opposition to the Prime Minister at that point. In fact, the remarks are much more characteristic of his attitude in the last eighteen months, when the rift between Chancellor and Prime Minister has become wider if not positively glaring.    The hottest rumour in parliamentary circles now is that George McDour, or one of his aides or friends, leaked the cabinet minutes and they doctored them to make the Chancellor an earlier and fiercer critic of the Dome! The motivation? To apply a further kick to Mr. McBlair's already sadly dented image as part of a campaign to improve Mr. McDour's chances of becoming the next leader of his party.    Of course, Mr. McDour is protesting his innocence to everyone who will listen but he is having about as much success as Pierson McAndelson is having in denying that he staged the great Millennium Dome Millennium Diamond Heist last week as a crowd-attracting stunt.    As a postscript to that particular event; analysis of the comment forms completed by departing Dome visitors over the last six weeks has thrown up an interesting result. Hardly any of them were aware that there was a diamond collection on show in the Money Zone. But if the diamonds were replaced by fakes while the police were waiting for the alleged thieves to turn up, last month's visitors haven't missed much.    To finish on a happy note – the Dome's management has reported an increase of traffic to the Money Zone now that people have been made aware of its existence, and while there are no vastly expensive diamonds on show, visitors can gaze at one million pounds in fifty-pound notes behind a bullet-proof barrier. Or can they? The latest Dome rumour is that the notes are either all fakes or genuine notes on the outsides of bundles of blank paper. Cynical lot, the Great British Public. filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk]

Monday 20/11/2000 "Still Not Me, Gov!" Hawksbane's head: Ready to roll! Despite the recent leaks on who's to blame for what, Prime Minister McBlair believes that he remains as non-stick as the Millennium Dome's cladding. In a speech to a Greenwich Regeneration seminar last night, he insisted that his intentions for the Dome project were pure. He also had the welfare of Greenwich residents in mind, which excuses everything. Further, he insisted that the best people were put in place to run the enterprise.    With these fine words still ringing in my ears, I have taken a large whisky and my laptop to a quiet corner to compose some thoughts on who's to blame for the whole sorry business.    Okay, the Tories thought of it. But the incoming Labour government in 1997 didn't have to go ahead with it. PM McBlair could have cancelled the whole thing at very little cost. But he had this vision of rebranding Britain and he lumbered us with the Millennium Dome for his own selfish ends. McBlair and his cronies were hoping to reap the credit for showcasing all that was great about Britain (their vision, nobody else's) in a massive visitor attraction at the start of the third millennium.    Okay, they got that wrong and they kicked off their personal millennium a year early. But that might have been excusable if they'd given us anything decent in the Dome. Putting New Labour cronies, who lacked the experience to run a whelk stall, in charge of something so huge was an instant recipe for disaster. The Dome decision makers seemed to do their best to steer clear of this country's history, traditions and culture. Lord Hawksbane and the rest were determined to include nothing for 'ordinary people'.    Worse, Lord Hawksbane presided over a financial disaster, allowing the Dome's management quango to get away with sloppy, or zero, record keeping, cronyism and outright corruption. He also did his best to make sure that the official history of the Dome, and the newly release report by the National Audit Commission's report on its finances, were rewritten to show himself and his confederates in a favourable light.    Prime Minister McBlair insists that he retains 'full confidence' in his unelected Dome Minister. Which means that his head has to be ready to roll. And which also means that the Prime Minister has to bear ultimate responsibility for putting his former flatmate in the job and keeping him there long after he showed that he just was not up to it. McBlair squeaked back into Downing Street after the last election. Maybe he won't be quite as lucky after the next. p.s. Prime Minister McBlair seems to have had a hell of a lot of flatmates during his younger days. Did he live in palatial apartments? Or was he just impossible to get on with and had a high turn-over of them? filed by Joe Deblat [j.deblat@md.news.uk]

Wednesday 22/11/2000 Dome's Millennium II Party Sir Tom Todhunter Photo: Tim deLong Anyone disappointed by the announcement that London's New Year celebrations have been cancelled can go to the Dome instead. Sir Tom Todhunter announced last night that the Dome will mark the arrival of the Third Millennium with the most spectacular laser light show in the whole history of the universe!    Opposition parties are now asking who placed the £600,000 order for the fireworks for London's cancelled New Year celebrations and why she or he gave the order to a firm in India. They also want to know what will happen to the fireworks, currently on their way to the UK on a freighter, when they reach our shores.    Unfortunately, Parliament breaks up for its Christmas Hols before any answers can be expected. filed by Maris O'Vishke [m.ov@md.news.uk]

Tuesday 28/11/2000 MDB's MILLENNIUM The Millennium Dome Bomber has announced that he (or she) will be in the Dome for the New Year spectacular on December 31st. In a statement issued to the news media on paper marked with the MDB's personal 'Smart Water' system, the bomber repeated that his/her sole intention had been to force the Government to observe the correct date for the millennium change. That object having been achieved, the MDB will attend the New Year celebrations and issue a last and final statement on the first day of the third millennium. After that, he/she will retire into obscurity – still pursued by the police, of course.    It now seems clear that embattled Prime Minister Angus McBlair will not be at the Dome on New Year's Eve. The PM's office was rather vague about his plans but there was some talk of a period of quiet contemplation with his family. No doubt he'll need it after the predicted storms at next week's Labour Party Conference, which will be held at the Millennium Dome's new Conference Centre. filed by Ferret [f.01@mdb.news.uk]

Friday 01/12/2000 ANMD Still On Gravy Train Mrs. Georgina Fell, MP Photo: Janet O'Viske Although the new owners have been running the Millennium Dome for an undisclosed period of time, the old regime clings on. It was revealed last night that A New Millennium Dawn, the quango created to run the Dome, is still holding meetings and still enjoying 'working lunches' at the taxpayer's expense. Worse, this gang of hangers-on and cronies is still using official government facilities – offices and secretarial assistance along with postal, fax, email and Internet access services – and mainly for their own private use.    This latest abuse was brought to light yesterday afternoon by Mrs. Georgina Fell of the Bicycling Freedom Party, one of the new, independent MPs. She received the rather disturbing information hidden away in a written answer to one of her parliamentary questions. Although Parliament breaks up for its Xmas Hols today, Mrs. Fell has promised to make sure that the Prime Minister explains why he failed to wind up the quango promptly when his goverment shed responsibility for the Dome. As Mrs. Fell is generally described as 'formidable', that's definitely something for Mr. McBlair to look forward to! filed by Luca Varn-Haight [lvh@md.news.uk]

Saturday 02/12/2000 A Nice Day Out – Well, Almost! The Millennium Dome – Photo: Oliver Strange Agency It was just supposed to be a non-political junket for the politicians who gave us the Dome. Their mission was to offer thanks to the people who worked staffed the Dome when it opened under government sponsorship. Prime Minister McBlair chose to take his party of visitors to Greenwich with the 'common people' on the extended Jubilee Line. Perhaps it was tempting fate to have Transport Minister Henry Tudor with him. Anyhow, a signal failure at Green Park left the politicos stranded eight stations short of their destination.    His minions had rounded up enough cars for the group, and the Prime Minister completed his journey by road. Before getting to meet any real people at the Dome site, the Prime Minister had to negotiate two Dome mascots – one male and one female – and a pair of fluffy, white snowpersons.    Having reached a VIP hospitality area, rather than the Dome itself, Mr. McBlair shook a lot of hands and delivered a speech listing his government's Achievements for Greenwich. Numbers flowed thick and fast, but it soon became apparent to the suspicious that he was mixing in 'expectations' with actual results. In particular, he steered well clear of the government's original figures for visitor numbers for the Dome and regeneration benefits for the Greenwich area.    One of the staff; the group being patronized by the politicos; had announced the intention of asking the Prime Minister if he had included the gang which had tried to steal the Millennium Star in his much massaged visitor number figures. I looked in vain for her distinctive mop of red hair when Mr. McBlair was galloping through that section of his speech. It looks like either one of the minders nobbled her or she got a better offer.    There was, however, one final spot of embarrassment in store for the Prime Minister. He was busy telling us how many times over the investment in the Dome would replay itself [fourteen times over, for anyone who is interested] when a mobile phone went off. A red-faced Transport Secretary produced the offending instrument and learned that the signal fault at Green Park had been repaired and the politicos could return to central London with the 'common people', as planned. filed by Joe Deblat [j.deblat@md.news.uk]

Wednesday 06/12/2000 McBlair Bushwhacked! Henry Tudor – architect of the revolution with minder. Photo: Oliver Strange Agency The English Revolution Part II has taken place at the Labour Party conference. Consternation now reigns in the ranks of those who survived the mauling which everyone associated with New Labour received at the recent election. As a result of a great deal of back-stairs sneaky manoeuvring over voting for the Shadow Cabinet, all of the Scots have been deposed.    We now have a totally English cabinet, apart from Prime Minister pro-tem Angus McBlair, who was born in Prestonpans, near Edinburgh – and he sounds just as English as the rest. All of the McCronies have been ousted – even those who had solid Old Labour credentials and who were not in favour with the McBlair regime.    While Mr. McBlair contemplates his future as leader of the Labour Party, which is expected to be very short now, the country is taking a renewed interest in the new Real Labour strong man. Henry Tudor, sometime Minister of Transport, is emerging as the unlikely architect of the revolution.    Mr. Tudor has enjoyed a long if undistinguished career in politics and he has evidently been around long enough to have planted sufficient favours to allow him to barge his way close to the top job. Alternatively, the conspiracy theorists would have us believe, he is a convenient front man for a Real Labour cabal which does not wish to show its hand just yet. In any event, the public is expected to take an renewed interest in the rest of what was expected to be a bad-tempered but routine Labour Party conference.    It is ironic that Mr. McBlair should receive his come-uppance in the Millennium Dome, which was intended to be his symbol of a Britain re-branded according to his personal specifications. The Dome is now out of his control and being run with increasing success by its private-sector owners. And the governance of Great Britain, what is left of it, looks destined to pass out of Mr. McBlair's hands before Christmas. It will be interesting to see how many of his friends are still willing to give him a free holiday after he has fallen from power. filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk]

Thursday 07/12/2000 McBlair Is History – Official Henry Tudor – our new PM? Photo: Oliver Strange Agency Discredited and isolated, Angus McBlair delivered his resignation speech to an audience which knew exactly what he was going to say. Despite the best efforts of prime ministerial spin doctor Campbell McAllister (and what's going to happen to him now? Ed.) to spread false trails, the real speech was leaked extensively last night.    Apparently well rehearsed, the party faithful booed and hissed and yelled, "Rubbish!" in all the right places as McBlair tried to blame everyone but himself for his downfall.    The British nation, McBlair claimed, is suffering from a 'terminal lack of vision'. His party, he added, has been seduced by promises of 'quick fixes for complex problems'.    McBlair's underlying message was that everything will go horribly wrong if he is no longer steering the nation through hostile waters. (Assuming there's anything left to go horribly wrong! Ed.). His audience gave him some polite applause at the end of his rant; probably because of the prevailing party mood as the conference draws to a close, but they seemed unconvinced by McBlair's rhetoric. filed by Jarvic Klute [j.klute@md.news.uk] Big Boost For Tudor As one door closes, another opens. Now that Angus McBlair has been ousted from the Labour leadership, the Real Labour splinter has rejoined the fold. All 27 independent MPs who fought the election under the Real Labour flag have voted to take the Labour whip and rejoin what has become the mainstream of their party. Even better than that, 8 of the 16 Independent Labour MPs will be joining them. The rest have decided to 'wait and see how things go' for a while.    The upshot of all this is that Henry Tudor is now in command of 319 MPs, which amounts to practical control of the Commons if not a working majority. He can be confident that the Independent Labour members will either abstain or vote with him – and that the opposition parties will never manage to assemble either 320 or 328 votes to defeat him. filed by Dana Howmaj [d.howmaj@md.news.uk]

Monday 11/12/2000 MDB "NOT GUILTY" McBlair: "emotional speech" Photo: Oliver Strange Agency The Millennium Dome Bomber has issued an authenticated statement denying that he/she played any deliberate part in the downfall of Angus McBlair. Following Mr. McBlair's emotional speech on Thursday of last week, in which he resigned his party's leadership, the accusations have been flying thick and fast over the weekend.    In his statement, the MDB repeat that his only object in collapsing part of the Dome almost one year ago was to prevent the politicians from imposing a false millennium change on the British people. Some commentators have read a sub-text into the message to the effect that bringing down the prime minister responsible for the two billion pound white elephant was an unexpected bonus – but that is merely their interpretation.    About the only direction in which the fingers are not pointing is toward George McDour. The former Chancellor of the Exchequer was known as the Grim Reaper in the popular press in view of his fondness for giving away cosmetic concessions while clawing back at least double the amount in stealth taxes.    Even so, McDour saw himself as the natural successor to Angus McBlair when McBlair had either outstayed his welcome or become exhausted in office. That's not going to happen now, with the Real Labour leader Henry Tudor firmly in charge of his chastened party.    At the end of the statement, the MDB repeated that he/she intends to be at the Millennium Dome for the Millennium Laser Show, which will be opened by Her Majesty the Queen.    A spokesman for New Scotland Yard confirmed that no new leads have arisen recently in the hunt for the Millennium Dome Bomber but that the inquiry remains on-going. report by Insider [In-114@mdb.news.uk]

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