No family pride
The world seems to be unshocked by the fact that Kanzler Merkel lets her daughter, Meghan, be seen out in public with a royal prince wearing jeans which are fit only for the dustbin. Still, if the most powerful woman in Germany isn't bothered by not having a majority in her nation's parliament, she is hardly going to be bothered about tatty trousers.
And if Meghan can bag Prince Harry, maybe she will also cop for a decent clothing allowance. After all, one cannot imagine Her Majesty letting a granddaughter-in-law expose her knees to public gaze in this fashion. [Unless as part of a cunning plan to seek an increase in the civil list. Ed.]
Silly Season on Steroids
North Korea is so desperate to be noticed that the regime is claiming that President Trump has declared war on them. (no, he hasn't)
The BBC is trying to pretend that it isn't rabidly left-wing by claiming that its Jewish staff are being harassed by Labour's nazis at their party conference.
Tony B. Liar is claiming that the public think he was right to start a war in Iraq on a lie. (no, they don't)
Buy your dollars now!
Should Labour's plan to strike, strike, strike to bring the country to its knees and oust the Tories succeed, then we will be in a whole lot of trouble. J. McDonnell, Labour's comic opera shadow chancellor, has dared to reveal that he expects the pound to nose-dive in value and investment in business to collapse if there is a Labour government.
This scenario could make it a tad difficult for Labour to borrow the trillion-plus pounds, which McDonnell will need to meet his nationalization and giveaway promises. But hey! Making deals your ass can't cash is the Labour way.
Alien invasion theory?
"Conservatives are not human beings," one of the Corby luvvies claimed at the party conference. "And your proof of that is, love?" Silence.
Labour turns its back on grown-up politics
The keynote speech by the party leader at their conference revealed that he has ditched adult attitudes to running the country. Given that Ho Chi Corbyn doesn't really have a magic money forest on offer, all he can do is promise a return to the failed politics of the 1970s at the hands of politicians without a scrap of decency, honesty or national pride in their bodies.
This explains why he is now so keen to keep Britain in the EU. If he gets his way, everyone with any portable cash will leave, the country will stagnate and become a Venezuela clone and Britain will join of other pauper nations in the queue for hand-outs from the German taxpayer.
Buy-off bid = nerve failure?
The PM is planning to offer the EU £20 Billion as a in Danegeld divorce settlement to get trade talks started, even though the Germans are agitating and will agitate even more if they see nothing happening. There is no mention of the EU paying the UK for its share of EU assets bought with British taxpayers' money, however.
It is unlikely that the greedy eurocrats who are making the ransom demands will settle for such a paltry sum. It is as unlikely that the Bremoaners in the Cabinet will be prepared to go for a "no talks = no cash and no deal" stance.
[right: the PM looking decidedly shifty
Not what we wanted to hear
Mrs. May tells the EU in Florence: "I want you to walk all over us, like you usually do. And with my blessing. Brexit means Brexit, but not for two more years and you can keep your hand in the British taxpayer's pocket for even longer."
If the Eurofokkers are not prepared to start talks on a post-Brexit trade deal then our team should just leave them a note inviting them to send us an email when they are ready – and go home.
All we need to say . . .
“"We will pay whatever we are legally obligated to pay according to the terms of the EU treaties to which we are signatories." There's no need to say more to the EU's gang of foot-draggers.”
Scammed & Deliver
“I've just had an interesting phone call, which could have been quite alarming, had I believed it. A robot female voice told me that, "We have been trying to contact you." It seems, according to the robot, that HMRC is starting a law suit against me and I was given the option of pressing '1' to speak to my case officer. Dialling 1471 after the call yielded the mobile number 07537181204.”
Saintliness gives way to an embarrassed silence
Aung San Suu Kyi has suffered the worst possible fate for the professional protester. After spending years under house arrest in Burma, and becoming the darling of the world's political luvvies, she is now her country's figurehead.
She is now in office but not in power. Thus, when the real wielders of power; the Burmese military; start doing a spot of routine ethnic cleansing, all she can do is hunker in her bunker and pretend it's not happening. Oh, dear! The Universe really does hate us!
Platform or accessory?
Google, Fakebook et al claim they have no responsibility for items related to porn, terrorism and other bad stuff when they appear on their respective websites because they are platforms, not publishers, and therefore exempt from complicity. But they do seem to be making themselves accessories after the fact, which should expose them to criminal prosecution if the government has the will to try it on.
“We are told by professional apologists that some accusations of repellent practices 'criminalize entire communities'. On the other hand, that might just be exposing the level and kind of criminality tolerated by entire communities.”
Deutschland über Alles
That's the message from the AfD party in Germany as the Merkel coalition shrinks dramatically. This month's election result can be seen as a long overdue response to the default attitude of the fascist left, including our own dear lefties, of putting their own country's interests last.
At the same weekend, we heard Labour's Brexit person saying that Labour will be working in the national interest instead of just for the party's advantage, as it usually does. That'll be the day.
Be sure your sins will be outed
It comes as no surprised that the inept current Chancellor, P. Hammond, was offering to help Boris Johnson to ditch Mrs. May right after the general election in June, even if Hammond makes no secret of thinking that Boris is a disaster area. (Takes one to know one?)
Hammond is the very model of a fickle politician, who thinks he's the bee's knees and if you don't like his principles, like Groucho Marx, he has plenty more on offer if they'll keep him in a job.
Alibis and faking
Professional tax-dodgers Amazon have felt obliged to remove a shower of faint-praise fake reviews of the appalling H. Clinton's book. Noises from the White House suggest that President Trump does not have it on his ‘to read' list. But what the rest of us would like to know is if the appalling Hillarious has read it. [ Shouldn't think there's much danger of a Nobel for it! Ed.]
Labour to lose 90% of its voters?
The Electoral Commission has suggested that trolls who abuse MPs and candidates for political jobs on anti-social meeja should be evicted from office, if they hold one, and/or removed from the electoral register. Like that's going to happen!
Spoilt & unpleasant land
If Britons are toward the top of the Depression League in the West, it's with good reason. Being dumped upon by the scum of the Earth, who are allowed to get away with industrial scale fly-tipping with the collusion of the police and the legal system, doesn't help.
Land of Bremoan & Quislings
Why did the BBC not broadcast the whole of the last night of the Promenade Concerts to the whole of the UK? Why did Scotland and Wales get a twee substitute for the traditional final pieces of patriotic music? Because there is nothing the waxworks running the Beeb hate more than Britishness and British values. Sad but true.
Wanted: Magic Money Forest
Public sector workers are 11% better off than those in the wealth-creating private sector, according to the Taxpayers' Alliance. Staff at private firms have lost an average £305 of income in real terms over the last year, according to the Social Market Foundation. The fall in spending power for the public sector was £258.
Unsurprisingly, no one is prepared to say where the money is coming from to pay the public sector more with government borrowing still higher than income rather than falling back towards a balanced budget.
Even more outrage junkies
Oh, dear, the Venerable Mogg is in trouble again with the luvvie set for daring to be delighted that there are charitable people who support food banks with donations of time and cash. But let us not forget that there are a lot of luvvies making money out of food banks – the more there are, the more they get because even though the front-line staff don't expect pay, you can't say the same about the back-line bunch.
‘Pro' almost always heralds a swindle
According to the rivals for the leadership of Scottish Labour (now that inconvenient woman has been torpedoed), Council Tax is not a progressive tax. Translation: their supporters are having to pay a share and the Labour leaders would like to redo the tax so that people likely to vote for them get a free ride.
They call it Stormy Monday . . .
With Hurricane Irma attacking the United States, and Hurricane J waiting in the wings for its turn, we got some sympathy weather on the second Monday of the month; bright spells of sun interspersed with absolute deluges of rain. Have the North Koreans found some way to move weather round the planet via wormholes, perhaps using stargate technology, to give all of their enemies a taste of anything nasty which happens to be going?
The environmental pressure group Greene Pease is calling for a total ban on the erection of new wind farms and the demolition of all existing ones.
The turbines, the campaigners insist, disrupt the natural circulation patterns in the atmosphere; what the people on Earth experience as wind; in ways which create major adverse weather effects thousands of miles away – hurricanes Katrina and Irma to name but two.
Hurricanes of such destructive force, the campaigners point out, were never experienced until the current wind farm explosion began.
Expect to pay more in green crap taxes, not less
The ‘experts' have been forced to admit that they got their dire warnings of a looming climate catastrophe badly wrong. The problem turns out to be that their computer models failed to predict the future (something which has been pointed out tons of times over the last couple of decades), and gazing at a crystal ball would have been as effective.
Even so, despite wasting VAST amounts of other people's money, and lining their own pockets, of course, the global warming fraudsters have no plans to apologize. They intend to do no more than adjust their message sideways. It will now read that, in fact, they got everything exactly right (if for wrong reasons) and the world should keep throwing money at them and their dotty scams.
The world's best lube job
We're invited to believe that the US authorities failed to stop the terrorist attacks on 2001/09/11 as an act of deliberate policy. Worse, that they lubricated the plot to give President Dubya Bush a better excuse to declare jihad on the world's jihadis.
Piling previously unspotted ‘evidence' on the conspiracy theories seems to have become an absorbing hobby for all sorts of people, and some are even making a lot of money out of it; if only because if you can say one definitive thing about the human race, it's that we are always going to be suckers for a good silly story.
No right to know?
One thing we're not being told, as the Scottish Parliament gets ready to celebrate its 20 years of existence with another junket courtesy of the taxpayer, is how many millions – or billions – of pounds this talking shop has cost the long-suffering British (mainly English) taxpayer.
Why is that?
Many more to come
J. Corbyn has celebrated his 21st . . . U-turn, dodge or nudge on the merits of Brexit since the referendum. Congratulations to you, Kim Jong-jezzer!
The Royal Society for Public Health is getting a lot of well-deserved stick for saying that obesity should be blamed on the firms which sell large portions. But nobody holds a gun to their head to make fatties over-eat. Maybe that Royal should be amputated from the society's name until it puts some sensible people in charge.
President Trump has renamed Kim Jong-whoever Rocketman. It would seem that he has spotted a resemblance to Elton John, who is also a bit (if not a lot) of a chubby-chops now.
Two out of three ain’t bad (according to Jim Steinman)
Some Tories are calling for poise, purpose and unity on Brexit for the sake of the nation's health and prosperity. Foreign Sec. B. Johnson has combined the first two: he's doing porpoise! He's leaping out of the political pond to announce that he is not going to stand idly by whilst the Bremoaners sabotage leaving the EU completely.
Backing off, boss!
Under pressure from the Big 9 supermarket chains, the Food Standards Agency has been persuaded to stop naming and shaming major retailers who sell chicken contaminated with the food-poisoning bug campylobacter.
In future, the FSA will concentrate on softer targets like small butchers, independent stores and farmers' markets. The switch of focus has been described as ‘bizarre and unnecessary'. But hey, it's only public safety that's at stake.
Prince William is being aired as the next leader of the Liberal party after his warm endorsement of their ‘legalize all dangerous drugs' campaign.
The Tate Organization is believed to have made a multi-million-pound offer for the 130-ton fatberg, which is currently clogging a Victorian-era sewer in East London. The only snag is that the monster has to be removed intact with all of its knobbles and bobbles still in place.
The fatberg is 800 feet long, four feet high and just over two feet wide, and it is composed of fat, oil and grease mixed with used nappies, wipes and condoms, and the odd dead rat. Exactly where the Tate Organization plans to exhibit this obvious health hazard remains unclear.
The Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority is standing by to dish out thousands of pounds of taxpayers' cash to people who claimed they were abused by former prime minister Sir E. Heath even though the Wiltshire police farce spent millions on an inquiry which turned up nothing in the way of credible evidence.
The CICA seems to be making a gesture in support of the police, who were 120% convinced that the allegations were true. This reinforces the fear that there is a stupidity gene, for which candidates for places on public bodies like the CICA have to test positive in their pre-appointment screening.
‘Not me, Gov' in spades
Rotherham has run out of whitewash and the town is urgently seeking new supplies. Incredible amounts have been poured on the council's staff to ensure that no one got any blame for letting Asian paedophile gangs prey on white girls and make Rotherham the kiddie-fiddling capital of England.
Not fit for service
It would appear that the police in Norfolk have been forced to recognize that the people who pay their wages are not idiots. When a gang of Irish travellers staged a rampage involving theft and violence in Cromer, the police just watched and did nothing. Afterwards, they tried to dismiss the assault on the town as ‘low-level disturbances'.
It has taken the chief constable three weeks to apologize to his customers for a pathetic attempt to spin away a near riot. Naturally, there is a chief superintendent investigating the police failings. No doubt, with a big bucket of whitewash (if it hasn't all gone to Rotherham) at the ready.
The plain fact of the matter is that the police failed to do the job they are paid to do. But, of course, no one will get the sack for misconduct in a public office.
Get out and stay out
The police are arresting 50 Albanians per month for offences from murder and drug dealing to people smuggling and money laundering. This is well above the threshold at which a foreign country should be told that all of its citizens are barred from the UK until they learn how to behave themselves.
The death toll from the Grenfell Tower fire was inflated by fraudsters seeking to make cash in the confusion, the police in charge of the investigation have revealed.
Might just work?
“I'm sure I heard the newsreader say Metabolic Police (rather than Metropolitan), which sounds like something that could exist. If obesity is such a crime against the nation's wealth – reinforced gear in hospitals and other strains on the NHS – maybe we should have a special squad dashing round like the Sweeney used to in the good old days of Inspector Regan and George Carter, busting bulging bad guys.”
At the end of the month, the police shot a guy who was driving around waving a gun for an hour or so. It happened near Bristol so will there be riots by the criminal community there at the weekend? Probably.
People are asking why the Queensferry Bridge, the new roadway over the river Forth, is toll-free but a new bridge over the river Mersey ain't. Simple! One is in Scotland and subsidized by English taxpayers, the other is in England and has to raise cash to pay for the bridge in Scotland.
Pay-back for what?
One of the biggest storms in the Mexican Gulf in recorded history plus the biggest earthquake in Mexico for 80 years – Richer 8.1 – in the same week. What have the Mexicans done to upset the Universe?
It's never enough
What do you get when you open a new road bridge across the river Forth? Six-mile tail-backs on both sides of the river.
It was YOUR fault
The government needs to be robust in its response to the holiday-makers who had a bad time at the hands of Hurricane Irma. If they were stupid enough to put themselves somewhere noted for extreme weather at this time of year, they have no automatic right to expect everyone else to rush to save them from their own recklessness.
Get it right!
Ryanair has fallen foul of the Trade Descriptions Act. The non-flying el cheapo airline has been obliged to change its name to Ryangrounded.
Getting up to date
They've had to rename it the National Truss because now it supports just a load of old bollocks.
Cosmology crunches curiosity
If, as we were told on Horizon Space Night on BBC 4 during the month, no part of the observable universe is special, if everything looks exactly the same from every other part of it, what's the point in going anywhere else? So much for Star Trekking! But at least no one will be at the mercy of cowboys like Ryanair if there's no point to travelling.
Don't buy a car just yet
Women are to be allowed to drive vehicles in Saudi Arabia. By the middle of next year. Maybe.
President for as long as he wants to be Ron McPutin is warning us that there could be a global catastrophe if North Korea is allowed to replace Russia as the world's No. 1 bad-guy nation. "Kim just isn't up to the job," is the Russian leader's message.
A helpless saint
Nobel prize-winner Aung San Suu Kyi is effectively prime minister of Burma and the darling of luvvie politicians all over the world. But she cannot control her country's army. As a result, when the army starts a massacre of Burma's minority Moslems, as she can manage is to default to the standard position of the powerless politician: denial. It's fake news, nothing is happening; that's all she can say as she lets the Burmese army drive the Moslems in to Bangladesh to make them someone else's problem.
The pain of being a public sector luvvie
How old is the vice-chancellor of Oxford University? She claims she's underpaid compared to footballers, most of whom are busted flushes in their mid-30s. But how many people would pay good money to watch her at work? Not enough to raise her £410,000/year, that's for sure.
About the only good thing that can be said about her is that she's not above taking a swipe at the precious snowflakes at her university by pointing out that they are there to be challenged, not coddled. But what's the betting her next problem will be a strike of overworked student counsellor-nannies!
The way the wind blows
The Beast of Bolsover and archetypal looney lefty D. Skinner does what his comrade party leader has been doing for decades and votes against the EU. Next thing you know, he's being trolled by Corbynites because Kim Jong-jezzer is prepared to ditch what he claims are his principles when it suits him.
ISS still there
Kim Jong-warmonger has failed in his latest attempt to shoot down the International Space Station. Like last month's effort, this month's overflew Japan and disappeared in to the sea. Environmental groups would like to protest about the adverse effects on marine life of being shelled by NK rockets – but they daren't!
“A term I'd like to see banned is ‘improvised explosive device' because it sounds much grander and a whole lot more official than what it's supposed to be describing: a small, home-made bomb. A smack round the back of the head every time someone on TV utters the phrase needs to be mandatory.”
Look at me! Look at me!
Whilst President Trump is in a glaring match with the North Koreans, Iran has decided to stir the pot with a missile test. The current incarnation of Iran's Eternal Leader, the Ayatollah Bunchofcommies, insists that the missle is just a deterrent, not something anyone expects actually to use. So that's okay, then.
The worst job in the solar system?
NASA's team at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California has a bright new idea for exploring Venus, a planet with an average surface temperature of 460 deg.C and a ground-level pressure high enough to exceed the crush-depth of most submarines.
The idea is to use mechanical systems of the sort used in clockwork computers to avoid having to rely on fragile electronics. Mechanical devices have been used for centuries to perform calculations, and also as works of art, e.g. the automata created in the 18th century. Thus the technology is well developed.
Advocates of the system think that a completely mechanical rover could survive for up to one year on the surface of Venus. But pity the poor sod who has to spend all that time in a hell-hole, winding it up every morning.
Yah, booo! to the demoters?
Valentino Rossi, MotoGP's answer to Michael Schumacher, is described as ‘the nine-world champion' in reports that he fell off a motorcross bike in training and broke his right leg. Which can mean only that Pluto has been reinstated as our ninth proper planet in his honour!
Cassini over and out
Thirty years in the planning and execution, the Cassini mission to Saturn ended in the middle of this month when the spacecraft ran out of fuel and it was crashed in to the planet's atmosphere at high speed to avoid contaminating Saturn's moons with bugs from Earth, and also to continue to sample the planet's atmosphere until radio contact was lost.
Scientists at NASA have spent entire careers on this mission to examine the planet and its 68 moons; which is not over yet as there is still plenty of analysis of the data and deduction to come.
The spacecraft was launched in 1997 and arrived at Saturn in 2004. Its original mission was planned to last for 4 years once the spacecraft reached Saturn but clever resource management allowed it to be extended three times to a total of 13 years.
Ask not: "Are we alone in the Universe?"
Ask rather: "Does it matter to us one way or the other?"
Public Service Announcement
He's been called the Blogger of the Decade
His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!
More or less what you expect
Good news: The government came up with a free childcare scheme for working parents.
Bad news: HMRC was allowed to get involved, local councils won't pay an economical rate for the service and up to one-third of all nurseries will have to close before they go bust.
It has been suggested that the scam should be renamed ‘subsidized childcare' with parents required to make up the gap, but that sounds too sensible to be acceptable to the official administrators.
Cynics are saying that it's all a plot to drive staff out of the childcare sector to fill gaps in the adult care sector.
What you'd expect from hypocrites: hypocrisy
The Venerable Rees-Mogg, MP, the archetypal Tory gent, is accused of being out of touch for daring to express his personal views on abortion, which are entirely consistent with his Catholic beliefs.
In fact, those who are out of touch are his fascist condemners, who preach diversity in all things but throw a wobbly when someone dares to voice an opinion which conflicts with their opinions.
Among the most contemptible of the moaners has to be Pixie Balls-Cooper, who is still far too busy jerking knees to fulfil her promise to throw open one of her residences to Syrian refugees.
Xmas for everyone?
Christmas advertising on TV is here, and one of the hopefuls is offering deals on LadyBoy sofas (at least, that's what it sounds like). Must be something to do with diversity.
Too well-lunched to realize what he was doing?
J.-C. Druncker, the president of the Europeon Commission, is being considered for a merit award by the British Brexit Council. A BBC spokesperson revealed that his contribution to explaining the true awfulness of the EU and its management, and its future plans for more and worse, played a significant part in persuading the British public to vote Leave in the EU membership referendum.
“At Wembley on the last Sunday of the month, we had American football players of the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Baltimore Ravens refusing to stand during the ritual playing of their country's national anthem, having latched on to the current trend of inappropriate exhibitionism. The urge to yell "Look at me!" can be irresistible in all circumstances.”
Hurricane Harvey is being blamed for the closure of one-quarter of the oil refining capacity in the region of the US Gulf of Mexico coast. Retailers are seeing this as an opportunity to raise fuel prices by up to 4p/litre for as long as they can get away with it. Where there's a weather event, there's a spiv.
A case for another exit referendum?
Membership of the EU costs the British taxpayer £350 million/week. Incompetence and blunders by people on the government's public sector payroll costs us a further £32 million/week in cash wasted on botched projects, accounting errors (especially by HMRC and the DWP), compensation for losses arising from the failings of public sector staff, etc.
Any chance of ditching Whitehall as well as the EU?
No more printed Yellow Pages
As predicted by visionaries last month, Yellow Pages is planning to ditch the printed edition before it becomes uneconomical. The last printed booklets will be issued in Brighton, where the concern was founded in 1966, during 2019. After that, there will be just the website.
Outrageous Demands update: Far from owing the EU €100 BILLION, the EU owes Britain around £9 BILLION.
The authorities in Frankfurt and Paris are bragging that they will hoover up the bankers now based in Britain post-Brexit. Which ignores a couple of obvious issues. Setting aside the lack of suitable office space in Frankfurt, the city is a cultural desert and has nothing to compare with London's plentiful places for rich banksters to blow their ill-gotten gains.
And let us not forget that bankers moved here from France to get away from the punitive taxes imposed to allow public sector workers to retire nearly as early as the ones in Greece.
If you shell out £600 for a set of trainers which have been designed to look scruffy and clapped out, how do you know when they're worn out and you need new ones?
Just say ‘get lost'
The government also needs to tell anyone who claims that the British territories which were wiped out by Hurricane Irma are too rich to get a share of the foreign aid budget to go take a jump. If the likes of China and India qualify, so do the Caribbean islands.
Business as usual
The EU is running one of its weird scams in Nigeria in relation to migration, the BBC TV programme Panorama has discovered. European taxpayers’ cash is being used to persuade the Nigerian government to confiscate vehicles used by the migrant-movers, then more cash is going to the truckless people-smugglers via third parties to persuade them to take up another line of work.
As usual, very few receipts are issued for all the cash sloshed around and the usual suspects are taking their usual cut.
“There is no crisis in school funding if they can blow cash on the current transgender fad.”
Weird business plan
Iran needs to find external investment, so what does the leadership do? Start playing Kim-clone by shooting off new missiles. Which will achieve exactly the opposite of what is needed but put a big grin on the admirers of the Ayatollah Bunchacommies.
Right idea, wrong approach
‘We must sell capitalism to the under-40s says Theresa' read the headline in the Daily Mail after the Labour conference-makers had gone home. But what needs to be sold is self-sufficiency, managing on your own resources and enjoying what you have instead of moaning because someone else has been clever enough, or lucky enough, to have more than you. And what needs to be torpedoed is the Labour promise of a magic money forest and everyone getting a free ride on the backs of ‘the rich'.
Nothing has changed
There's some surprise that the French Charlie Hebdo magazine has been celebrating the floods in the USA as proof that god exists because she has drowned a lot Nazis in Texas. But let us not forget that CH is published by a bunch of cynical, nasty bastards with pens, who won a measure of public sympathy when they were massacred after upsetting a bunch of homicidal nasty bastards with guns.
Tell us something we don't know
Attention M. Barnier, the EU's ransom stooge: We know that the Leave clock is ticking. It was the UK which wound it up and set the alarm for March 2019.
China is not going to be much help in solving the problem of North Korea's world domination (or destruction) ambitions. The regime propped up N. Korea to annoy the Americans in the same way that Russia propped up the Castro regime in Cuba. But the monster has grown too big for the Chinese to control.
One false step on their part and they will have a million Korean migrants pounding across their border and demanding lunch, in the same way that Africans are flooding in to the EU. Which is not something the Chinese economy could stand.
Serious quality deficit
“Yesterday, I was reminded that past prime minister Sir Winston Churchill was awarded a Nobel Prize for literature in 1953 (I had occasion to look the year up). Can you imagine any of the sorry crew of politicians running the world right now achieving anything remotely similar?”
Shape up or less cash
The PM has warned the UN that it has to stop wasting aid money or the UK will withhold £30M of its contributions. Like the EU, the UN is notorious for negligent accounting, back-scratching, lack of cost controls and indifference to fraud.
A classic accident waiting to happen
It comes as no surprise that Mexico City has been wrecked by a Richter 7.1 earthquake with an epicentre 75 miles away; the second really major quake in 2 months. The city is built on the bed of what used to be a vast Aztec lake and town complex close to the junction of two of the Earth's tectonic plates. That sort of location; a dried up lake full of very soft soil; has been found to amplify the force of a quake by up to five times.
Awful thing happens to dear friend
Oh, no! The Sunday Post, Scotland's favourite newspaper, has designer disease; lots of white space on the pages, bleached out pale grey page numbers and the all important text reduced to a grey smudge of tiny type greeted readers on the last Sunday of this month. The publisher is advised to stand by for a drop in circulation as the readers decide to buy something readable instead, if they are not prepared to let bigger type eat in to all that white space.
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Gary bloody Lineker.
Tony B. Liar and his good buddy Juncker the Druncker.
Boy George Osborne, the queen of sour grapes.
M. Barnier, who doesn't seem to get that he's just an overpaid EU flunkey, not the Boss of the Universe.
Juncker, J.C., the appointed rather than elected European Commission president, who is reported to see the world through an alcoholic haze, has accused D. Davis, Britain's Brexit Secretary, of lacking stability. But maybe it isn't Mr. Davis who is doing the wobbling, maybe it's the man who objects to being called J.C. Druncker.
L. McCluksy and all the other commie (trade union) agitators who think they're saints and popular heroes. But maybe he has a small point if he's comparing himself to communist terrorists like N. Mandela and the noisy, exhibitionist suffragettes rather than the more rational suffragists.
Is there any point in supporting charities like the National Trust if you know you can't trust the bloated quangocrats in charge not to waste your donation on surveys asking the volunteers if they know which sex they are and how often they change sex?
Corbynist lackey D. Abbott, MP, is in trouble for using the nigger-word on live breakfast TV. Quite right too, the attention-seeking b*****************.
A. Sampson, the headmistress of Tunbridge Wells Grammar, who insists that teachers have to go round a class shaking the hand of each pupil before every lesson to make the kids feel welcome and appreciated. How many pupil-days does that waste during the course of a school year?
Isn't it a shame that TV news industry veteran, Remoaner and self-preener R. Peston has had his Europeon solidarity tested by fans of Köln FC giving him Nazi salutes and peeing on his doorstep!
Liberal MP N. Lamb has just got himself in a lather over Poundland selling chocolate-covered peanuts in packets with the brand-name "nutters", a crime against humanity which has been going on for a year with no complaints from normal people.
Vince Cable, the Liberal leader, thinks he's a plausible candidate for Prime Minister. There's a ‘Nurse, he's out of bed again!' moment if ever there was one.
Ambrosia Rudd, who's as useful as a rice pudding in the job of Home Sec.
Emigré Bremoaner S. Rushdie, a prime candidate for de-knighting.
V. Cable's recipe for democracy: any number of votes his supporters want and any number of ballots until they get it right. Then it's set in stone.
New York resident M. Amis whingeing about Brexit is never going to impress anyone. Brexit is more like cancer surgery than his self-inflicted wound, if we're going to be medical about it.
A British actor called Colin Frith has thrown a Brexit hissy fit by becoming an Italian citizen courtesy of his Italian wife. No sign of him quitting London to live in Italy, though.
The decision by the powers that be at Bath Spa University to 86 a piece of politically incorrect research suggests that their brains have been cooked for too long in the steam room.
The Labour party's strategy in power, as outlined at the party conference, seems to be to tank the economy and debase the currency, borrow vast amounts of money (from whom?) and hope to steal enough from the public purse to tide themselves over until the next Tory government has repaired the economy and the electorate has become stoopid enough to give Labour yet another chance to wreck things again. It relies on that saying about no one ever learning from history being true; which is exactly what the evidence of the past suggests.
“Far queue, far queue very much!” Frank Zappa.
The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".
|Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression|
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, September MM17.