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NASA's Phoenix exploration craft has reached the north polar region of Mars safely after a 9-month trip. It made the first powered landing on the Red Planet for 32 years. The craft slowed itself from 12,000 mph to just 900 mph with atmospheric braking, a parachute cut its descent speed to 120 mph and it fired up 12 thrusters to touch down at a mere 5 mph on a surface free of big rocks.
The labour candidate finished just 8,000 votes behind the Tories, and with 32,000 people withholding their votes in protest against events beyond the government's control, the labour party is dismissing the unfortunate result as a mere glitch.
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Category : Science Fiction, vintage 1986, 9" x 6", 168 pp.
There has been no nett rise in global temperatures during the last decade and we are back to the same global temperatures observed in 1998. Further, the Leibnitz Institute of Marine Science has worked out that there will be no global warming for the next decade as part of a long-established, natural cycle. But don't expect that to stop scotch gordon and Co. from slapping more 'climate change' stealth taxes on us because governments love the alibi of a good apocalypse story. And just to remind everyone everyone where we are on the temperature map, here it is below:
Another labour swindle
Empty Polticial Posturing
Making the Myth
Spit the bones out of this!
"Taxing carbon dioxide just puts money in the hands of corrupt politicians, who can do nothing to stop, or redirect, climate change."
Posturing with taxpayers' cash
EcoWatch says "Beware!"
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scotch gordon wants to be tougher on cannabis users and dealers. The police say they're going to continue letting them off with a slap on the wrist no matter what the government says. So is scotch going to have to start ordering blunkett Bobby community coppers to arrest real police officers for failing to do their job? Looks like another fine labour mess on the way!
It's the way them tell 'em!
Another brilliant crime-cutting scam
You couldn't make it up!
Welcome to brown's Britain
The man who discovered the psychedelic properties of LSD has died at 102. While looking for new medicinal drugs at the Sandoz Laboratories in Basel, he identified lysergic acid in an extract from ergot, a fungus which grows on grasses and grains. He made derivatives of the acid for testing; the 25th of them was the diethylamide. Nothing came of the tests and Hofmann moved on. Five years later, however, in 1943, Hofmann resumed work on his own initiative and accidentally exposed himself to a solution of 'LSD-25'.
. . . that illegal immigrants are trying to sneak out of the country because they're upset by the weather and the service they get from the NHS. Perversely, the Home Office, which fails to police our borders to stop them coming in, thinks it should stop them leaving. You couldn't make it up.
The zany star of Rowan & Martin's Laugh In has died at 86. He and his more serious-demeanoured partner spent some 15 years working together in night clubs and on TV shows before their big break in 1967. The Laugh In, with its splendid regular cast, became an American institution, which spawned its own magazine and a film, The Maltese Bippy, which bombed. The show as also a hit in Britain, where it was shown on BBC 2.
One of the bright stars of the early days of MAD magazine has died at 86. He was an illustrator who loaded his satires & parodies with sight gags, puns and a mass of strange details.
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scotch gordon used a battering ram to get david pitt-watson appointed general secretary of the labour party in March. Now, the ingrate had decided he doesn't want the job. Why? Because he's scared that scotch will trick him into becoming personally liable for the party's £20 million of debts. Which just goes to show how much even his own mates trust old scotch these days!
Another meddling mess
Cash to burn
The poisonous influence of new labour spreads further
The price of maladministration
"Nurse! She's out of bed again!"
Hon. Members or Grabbing Bastards?
A political expert working for a national newspaper has identified what is wrong with the labour party. It's called Colony Collapse Disorder, a disease first observed in bee hives. The only solution is to put down the entire hive and replace it with sound stock from elsewhere.
A good reason for kicking the Tories . . .
A sign of the times?
Believe us now we're in deep trouble?
Blame the bloody environment!
Free but you have to pay for it
Grouse don't look forward to August, when toffs starts blasting away at them. The scotch gordon season opened somewhat earlier this year. He has been peppered with the sexed-up dodgy dossiers of Lord Cashpoint, old Two-Jags and Mrs. Cherie Gobb, and he has the teenagers in his Cabinet, and the blairite rejects who were sacked for being so totally useless that it was embarrassing even to new labour, loudly pointing out what a terrible job old scotch is doing.
Don't mention the brown (but eyebrows are okay)
Death by ants!
Going bust big-time
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The work to redo the drainage in Romiley Park was supposed to take 6 weeks, which means it should have been completed by the end of March. But the park has been a wasteland since it was wrecked in February inaccessible and totally abandoned by the council's cowboys.
Swiss pilot Yves Rossy has taken to the skies again with a new version of his jet-propelled hang glider. The former fighter pilot launched himself from an aircraft at 7,500 feet over the Alps and fired up the 4 jet engines mounted in pairs on his 10-foot rigid wings. He was able to fly at 190 mph and perform some aerobatics before deploying a parachute for his landing.
It's only taxpayers' cash
scotch gordon is planning to invade Zimbabwe and turn back the clock to the former colony's Rhodesian incarnation. His battle plans and his dodgy dossier justifying the invasion have all been published in the Mugabe regime's official newspaper.
Don't you just hate . . .
The volcano Chaitén in Patagonia is supposed to be extinct as there is no record of its having erupted in the last 2,000 years and experts reckon it last blew its top 9,000 years ago.
Watch out! The European Commission is doing things.
Dither, Dither, Do It!
China's Everest gimmick exposed
The lights are going out!
Cash for Europe, nothing in return
The difference an Olympics makes
Grand Theft Burma
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