Black Flag News
 
 2007/January 
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No. 10 Certificate of EndorsementEvery edition of BFN is compiled
in accordance with official 10 Downing Street guidelines on accuracy and veracity.

Presented to David Coleman, chief constable in Derbyshire, who refused to release pictures of 2 escaped murderers because he thought it might breach their human right not to be held responsible for their own misdeeds.
   Coleman has been blasted for his boneheadedness by the Lord Chancellor, local MPs and the human rights outfit Liberty. And to complete his public humiliation, Greater Manchester Police issued pictures of Jason Croft and Michael Nixon, who both walked out of Sudbury open prison in Derbyshire 2 months ago.
   Coleman's main policing interest is finding new ways to extract fines from motorists.

Storm Tide by Philip H. Turner

New on Lulu.com – Storm Tide by Philip H. Turner

BlackFlag News would like to bring to our readers' attention, this work by one of Romiley's premiere authors.

   Read about the Book on the Romiley Literary Circle website

   Buy the book in paperback or as a download from Lulu.com

Category : Crime, 1980s

BANK NEWS

The Customer bites back!

doshThe Royal Bank of Scotland, in common with the other big banks, has been condemned for charging illegally high penalty fees when an account goes overdrawn, or when items are 'bounced' on the grounds of insufficient funds, and they are under investigation by the Office of Fair Trading for charging six to ten times their actual administration costs.
   Last June, RBS customer Declan Purcell decided that his branch had charged him £3,400 in illegal fees and asked for his money back. The bank ignored him. So in October, he filed an online application for a country court judgement, which the bank ignored. The court ruled in Mr. Purcell's favour in December and he was awarded an additional £120 to cover his court costs. The RBS still ignored him.
   Mr. Purcell then got the court to award him a warrant of execution and this month, he took a team of debt collectors to the Camden Town branch in London and set them to work seizing the bank's assets to cover the court order. They had taken charge of four computers, two fax machines and a till full of cash before the stunned manager agreed to cough up the cash.

rain man
CLIMATE NEWS
  A sense of humor or just crassness?

Thursday, January 18th was the day when a major storm ripped across England, Wales and southern Scotland, leaving death and destruction in its wake. It was also the day on which some water companies in the south of England chose to abolish their drought regulations and hosepipe bans. But not all of them. The drought regulations remain in force in Sussex, Hampshire, Surrey and Berkshire where Mid Kent Water and South East Water operate.

black flagsWeird winter weather
In contrast, Venice is running out of water this winter. The canals are over two feet lower than their normal levels due to a lack of rainfall, and some of them are just swamps of foul-smelling mud. Which is quite a problem for a city which includes its waterways in the sewage disposal system!

Iranian flagPayback from Allah?
If you're thinking of going to Tehran – don't! The poisonous smog hanging over the Iranian capital is killing people at the rate of 120 per day, which is even greater than the rate at which Iraqis are being written off by Iranian-funded terrorists.

touristThey're lying to you again!
In future, don't believe the Met Office's weather reports for British resorts. The agency is closing down its 'manual' weather recording stations in favour of automatic stations, which can be 10-20 miles from the resort which they are supposed to represent and have quite different conditions of temperature, etc., due to quite different local geography.
   This sorry state of affairs has come about because the Met Office is run by managers and accountants who have no interest in accuracy, and who have been infected by corrupt blair labour's total disregard for the truth.

black flagsIt's all about the money again!
Anyone who installs a wind turbine on their house, hoping to cut their electricity bill and save the planet, is in for a shock. The turbine will count as a home improvement, which will let their local council bump up their Council Tax bill under corrupt blair labour's new rules.

Crime News
CRIME NEWS
Police can't be bothered with burglars

burglar in actionIf you're burgled, don't expect a copper to rush round unless you phone while the criminal is on the premises. All you'll get, if you're very lucky, is a civilian Scenes of Crime Officer looking for physical evidence.
   The current target culture, which was wished on the nation's police forces by corrupt blair labour, prevents the police from doing burglaries unless race, religion or homophilia is involved. Assault is something else which will not stir your local police into action.

black flagsAnother silly story exposed
The major banks insist it's impossible to tamper with the chip 'n' pin terminals in shops. Wrong! Following on from warnings that the banks went for an el cheapo chip card system, some guys at Cambridge U. have built an authentic-looking terminal, which can read all the details needed to clone a card while recording the PIN number.
   And to make things worse, Romania, the source of 79% of the criminals who steal cash via card fraud, has been admitted to the EU, making it even easier for these criminals to operate here.
   It's not so much that you can't win as the system is biased against making it possible.

black flagsWise guy, huh?
A bloke from South Wales didn't agree with having to pay £650 in fines and court costs following a conviction for careless driving. He was ordered to pay £40 per month so he registered his protest by turning up with bags containing 4,000 pennies. Pontypridd magistrates' court accepted £540 before hiding behind the 1971 Coinage Act, which rules that payments of bronze coins greater than 20p do not have to be accepted. This month, Michael Rees agreed to pay off the balance at £5 per week; but he plans to do it with a bag of 5p coins.

black flagsBritish Gas swindle busted
Britain's worst energy supplier has been fined £5,000 and ordered to repay cash extorted from customers of its online criminal subsidiary Click Energy. The premium telephone service watchdog ICSTIS found that Click Energy was guilty of deliberately putting callers on hold at 75p/minute and lying about the cost of calls.

black flagsRocks in the head
Norfolk County Council won't let the police take sniffer dogs into schools in case they find pupils or staff with a pocketful of illegal substances. The thinking is that the druggie would be bullied if exposed.
   Luckily, the Norfolk police have decided not to take sniffer dogs into schools. Why? Because they don't know what to do next if a sniffer dog finds contraband. They are now trying to sort out 'clear guidelines and a protocol'.
   Clearly arresting the drug-carrying criminal is beyond the wit of the bozos running the Norfolk police force. And also the bozos running the country council.

US flagIf you ever wondered why the US justice system stinks so much . . .
Two Texas Border Patrol agents, Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, have begun serving prison sentences of 11- and 12-years respectively for shooting Osvaldo Davila, a Mexican drug runner, in the backside while on duty in February 2005. The agents were convicted of violating the civil rights of Davila by shooting him, and also of tampering with evidence by picking up shell casings from the shooting.
   The agents said that they shot at Davila because he had a gun, which was never found. Davila agreed to testify against the agents and the US government granted him immunity from prosecution for trying to smuggle 750 pounds of marijuana with a street value of more than $1 million into the United States. He received free treatment in a U.S. hospital and he is now sueing the federal government for $5 million.

OtterRotting from the head down
The Devon police are saying they let looters run riot among the loot from the wreck of the MSC Napoli on Branscombe Beach before excluding them because they were 'unsure of their powers and responsibilities'. If they took 4 days to find out what they were, then maybe the chief constable (Mr. Otter, left) should start arresting the force's senior officers, starting with himself, for gross negligence.
UpdateThere are many stories being told about what is happening in Branscombe. The latest is that the police were told not to extract a name & address from looters because 'it would place a strain on resources'.

black flagsBe Nice To Criminals Year?
The labour party is going for the criminal vote in a big way. Why else would the chancellor (scotch gordy broon) have refused to supply the cash needed to build more prisons? Or the Home Office's reaction to the news that the prisons are now full have been an order to courts telling them not to send any more criminals to gaol? It is clear that corrupt blair labour wants its core voters out on the streets (when they're not burgling other people's houses) until it can get a 'Votes For Criminals' law in place.

DEPARTURES

Magnus Magnusson

The long-term quizmaster of Mastermind has died at 77. Born in Iceland, he was brought to Scotland by his parents. After taking a degree in English at Oxford University, he returned to Scotland as a journalist. He joined the BBC as a presenter of programmes on archaeology and history. Mastermind was supposed to be a one-off quiz in 1972, but it achieved startling popularity with the TV audience, and when he retired after 25 years, Mr. Magnusson was allowed to keep the famous black leather chair. He was also a champion of the Vikings and a presenter of TV programmes aimed at rehabilitating their image; an author, a translator, a conservationist and an expert on ancient Icelandic documents.

DEPARTURES

Momofuku Ando

The Japanese inventor of the instant noodle has died at 96. He created his product in his garden shed in 1958, and he went on to invent the holy grail of the fast-food industry, which he called Cup Noodle – a product in a plastic container which could be eaten after applying hot water.

DEPARTURES

Yvonne de Carlo

The actress who played Lily Munster in the hit 1960s TV comedy, and a darling of the gossip merchants, has died at 84. She began her career in Hollywood playing slinky sirens in Arabian Night-style epics in the 'tits & sandals' era. She moved on to serious dramatic roles in crime films and branched out into TV, where she appeared in the Western series Bonanza and The Virginian. She played a vampire married to a 'fraidy-cat Frankenstein's monster called Herman in The Munsters (1964-66), but she made Lily Munster an ordinary American housewife. She then starred on the Broadway stage and degenerated into 'schlock' films, e.g. Satan's Cheerleaders (1977).

DEPARTURES

Barbara Kelly

A Canadian lady who made a name for herself on British radio and TV has died at 82. She and her husband, Bernard Braden, came to Britain after World War Two and both found a home at the BBC for a while. Barbara Kelly built up her reputation on radio through appearances in her husband's programmes, e.g. Breakfast With Braden before making herself an indispensable member of the cast of the TV show What's My Line? by standing up to the stroppy presenter, Gilbert Harding, who thrived on being rude to people. She was the only original cast member to rejoin the show when it was revived in the 1980s. Barbara Kelly earned a decent living from films and TV shows. She then reinvented herself with businesses supplying speakers for public occasions and advice to celebrities on promoting their career.

DEPARTURES

Denny Doherty

The bloke in the Mamas & Papas with a decent singing voice has died at 66. He formed the group with Cass Elliot and Michelle & John Phillips in 1965 and they enjoyed 3 years of Top 20 hits, beginning with the enduring California Dreamin', before the band collapsed in a haze of drugs and divorce. Michelle Phillips went into acting and everyone else went solo apart from a brief reunion in 1971 for an album. Denny Doherty and John Phillips reformed the band, with new members, in the 1980s after Denny Doherty had returned to his native Canada to work in films and TV dramas.

FOODY NEWS

FSA Screw-Up

lump of cheeseThe Food Standards Agency has classified cheese as a junk food, which means it can't be advertized during children's TV programmes. The ban is based on the false assumption that kids will eat 100 grammes of cheese in a serving – or nearly a quarter of a pound – which is about three times the typical portion size.

black flagsAnother daft idea from the food industry
Supermarkets think the public needs more than crap music and constantly shuffled shelves to make like more interesting while shopping. In the spirit of talking Xmas and birthday cards, the next big thing will be products with an 'active label'. The plastic labels will incorporate a motion sensor, a screen to flash special offers at passing shoppers and a miniature sound system to yell out recipes.

black flagsRats as big as cats!!!
Recycling mania is being blamed by Britain's pest extermination industry for a population explosion in the nation's rodents. Rats are sneaking out of sewers to feast on overflowing bins and refuse left lying around for 2 weeks as local councils swindle their taxpayers with less frequent collections. Cynics are now wondering if corrupt blair labour isn't trying to accustom their customers to the sight of rats as a first step to introducing a new item to the national menu. If the EU bans fishing completely, rat and chips could be the labour party's preferred alternative.

black flagsThe Sainsbury supermarket chain is in trouble for promoting drunkenness (in line with government policy) by selling beer cheaper than water – Carling lager at 54p/pint and Perier water at 57p/pint.

black flagsAin't Life Confusing?
The Environment Sec. says 'organic' food is no better nutritionally than ordinary, 'inorganic' food, which has upset the organic food industry mightily (even though it's what most people suspected all along). But hang on. If a lying scumbag labour minister tells you something, then the opposite must be true. So maybe organic really is brilliant and we were wrong to doubt it!

GREEN NEWS

It's a rip-off (but we knew that already)

50p coinBottled water has received the thumbs down from the Food Standards Agency as un-green. At 84 pence per litre, it's a huge waste of energy, money and resources compared to tap water, which costs 0.16 pence per litre on average.
   Bottled water also contains unhealthy additives and it can pick up poisonous chemicals if it is stored next to things like household cleaning materials.

black flagsAnother daft idea from the govt.
The person impersonating the Housing Minister has come up with a brilliant way to save the planet. Everyone has to get a lawn installed on their roof. This will save energy by improving insulation and it will prevent flooding because the vast additional acreage of lawns will soak up billions of gallons of surplus water. Apart from the water that runs off the roof when it's saturated.
   The roof lawn will also provide a haven for wildlife, which means that if the scheme takes off, insurance companies will shove up their bills to cover the cost of repairing roofs which collapse under the weight of a saturated lawn, and the cost of freeing houses from infestation by various obnoxious bugs other insects.

chemistryBlind to the blindingly obvious
What our politicians fail to acknowledge is that it doesn't make much difference if you, personally, choose to stop peeing when you're in the swimming pool if everyone else carries on doing it.
   Human carbon dioxide production (which is just 5-10% of carbon dioxide production by the natural world) is 25,000 million metric tonnes/year. The aviation industry creates 43.8 million metric tonnes/year. So banning all aviation will reduce human-sourced carbon dioxide production by about 0.2% and make
no bloody practical difference at all!
   In these circumstances, all the planet-savers' carbon taxes are just that – taxes intended to steal money from the electorate while doing nothing for the environment, and just another scam.
UpdateIt must be because he's finally realized that he's on the way out, but our present temporary prime minister has announced that he's not going to stop flying round the world for freebie holidays in the cause of reducing his carbon footprint!
UpdateThat stance lasted about 5 minutes. The slimy bastard has now announced that he has jumped on the 'carbon neutral' bandwagon.
UpdateA recent survey has found that most of the firms, which charge £2-19 per ton for carbon offsetting, are scamming their customers in the name of saving the planet. The survey found that just 8% of the schemes produce an actual carbon balance.

HEALTH NEWS

Do we really want this?

X-Ray MachineThose pesky scientists have come up with another brilliant solution to the cancer problem. They plan to infect sufferers with the common cold in the hope that it will make them too miserable to care that they have cancer.

black flagsFat Dog Police strike in Cambridgeshire
The Pet Police are now on the lookout for overweight animals following the successful prosecution at Ely magistrates' court of 2 brothers for owning an 11½ stone labrador, which was barely able to walk and which 'looked like a walrus'. The case, brought by the RSPCA, ended in a 3-year conditional discharge for both men for overfeeding their dog. The government and local councils are now looking at overfed pets as a new source of spot fines.

black flagsDaft Advice of the Month . . .
. . . sterilize kitchen cloths & sponges in a microwave. The advice failed to mention that:
   1. The cloth/sponge must be soaking wet because it will catch fire if it is microwaved dry; and
   2. If it is microwaved wet, it will become scalding hot, as the microwaves will have heated the water to boiling point, and it should not be removed with bare hands.

Home News
HOME NEWS
UK FlagMore outcries from the converted!

hazel bleary, who used to be the Home Office minister in charge of putting an end to binge drinking, has come out against corrupt blair labour's policy of encouraging 24-hour drinking. Turning Britain into a café society was always a fantasy, she insists now. And all this corrupt government has achieved is to encourage the people who enjoy getting rat-arsed to do it even more frequently.

black flagsDon't say a word!
In an era of rent-a-mouth politicians, our present temporary prime minister has found that the reverse works. He hasn't said a word for publication about the manner of Saddam Hussein's lynching and he's still getting lots of publicity. johnny 'two jags' prescott, in contrast, shot his mouth off but the only reaction he got was derision for the incoherence of his pronouncement.

penny blackAn impressive achievement!
The Royal Mail has achieved the seemingly impossible. People hate the postal service even more than the runarounds and swindles they get from banks, broadband providers and mobile phone companies. According to Which?, the main areas of complaint are junk mail, post office closures, lost mail and long queues at the post offices which are still open.

black flagsContextual value NOT added!
The government has found a way to make the nations top schools look bad in league tables – it fiddles the figures and it has dropped out a requirement that a criterion of success is having GCSE passes in maths and English. They have been replaced by qualifications of doubtful value, e.g. finger-painting, cake-decorating, cosmetic make-up, hair styling and Indian head massage.

black flagsIt's all about the money part 99
Talking about Indians, why has Lakshmi Mittal given another £2 million to corrupt blair labour? Probably because scotch gordon broon has spent the last 4 years not closing a tax loophole, which lets Mr. Mittal live here while operating tax avoidance schemes through the loophole.

black flagsAnother swindle executed?
How did Manchester win the contest to build a super casino? Maybe the government talked this bid down, let the odds on a win by Manchester slide out to 16-1 against, bunged on a big bundle of cash and cleaned up.
   Given the generally sleazy state of corrupt blair labour, and the party's urgent need for clean cash, and the bid-winner's history with corrupt blair labour and his track record for attracting the attention of the anti-corruption police of all nations over bungs to get casinos built, it probably did happen this way.

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
A decent level of service from the council?
Joke! And it's not good enough!

Romiley Park, 2007/01/27A bit of snow and what does Stockport Council do? Well, bugger all, actually.
   The centre of Romiley was a mess of ice, slush and liquid water on the morning after the first snow of the winter but the Council failed to distribute even the customary few token shovelsful of sand/salt mixture for the safety of pedestrians.
   Which leaves the residents of Romiley wondering what the Triv-Dems running Stockport Council are spending one of the highest rates of Council Tax in the country on. Because it certainly isn't essential services.
UpdateStockport Council: Charging more, doing LESS!
BlackFlag News has been advised that Stockport Council has transferred its maintenance services to a private company called Solutions SK; which clearly isn't up to the job of providing cold-weather solutions of any use to the C-Taxpayers of Romiley.

black flagsSmall helicopter crash in Romiley, not many killed
Most of the village's residents were amazed to see newspaper headlines about a helicopter crash as it was an extremely discreet affair. The two-seater took off from the garden of house on Compstall Road (near Springwood Lane) at 10:30 on Monday 22nd, lost power, crashed onto a garden fence and finished upside down.
   The pilot and his passenger were both unhurt, and Greater Manchester fire brigade was able to deal quite comfortably with the small spill of aviation fuel.

black flagsProgressive Romiley – A new trail blazed!
Romiley's entrepreneurs are stepping into the 21st Century with a planning application for a revolutionary new drop-in centre on Riverside Drive, home to most of the village's most progressive businesses. The potential operators are reported to be quietly confident that the council's planning department will give the nod to an application for a drop-in centre for trans-sexual transvestites sometime this month.

TELLY NEWS

The Race Police leap into action again

The remarks made on the Big Brother reality show about a minor Bollywood actress were not racially motivated – but most of the complaints were, an independent investigation has found. The Race Police have, therefore, focussed their attention on some usual suspects, who are now known to have solicited complaints from trouble-makers who never actually saw the Channel 4 show.
   The British government, or what passes for one at the moment, is also making a complaint to the Indian government about the antics of ignorant Indian demonstrators, who had no access to Big Brother but who still burned alleged effigies of Channel 4 executives in a racially motivated 'protest'.
   In addition, the Foreign Secretary, Mrs. buckett, has cancelled a planned caravan holiday in rural India as her personal expression of disapproval.

space news
SPACE NEWS
A British Moon mission? Like that's going to happen!

A gang of British space scientits (sic [Fortuitous typo, Ed.]) is proposing a go-it-alone project to put Britons, and unmanned rovers, on the Moon in the next couple of decades. Although, it is difficult to have much confidence in a spacecraft called MoonLITE. The initial mission would be to find out if there is a decent supply of water on the Moon using probes costing a modest £50 million a pop.
   If these guys are really serious about their project, they would be well advised to keep it well away from corrupt blair labour otherwise they'll find that they've spent twice their budget, the spacecraft doesn't work and no one believes the excuses for its failure.

black flagsThe Chinese are at it again
The Chinese government has made itself popular by developing a satellite-buster weapon. Instead of some fancy electronic system, which would kill control chips and render the satellite useless, the Yellow Peril chose to reinvent the missile system developed by the Yanks and the Soviets two decades ago.
   In blasting their obsolete weather satellite to bits with an explosive-tipped missile, the Chinese have sprayed a cloud of debris into low orbit, violating UN conventions on the proliferation of space debris, and created a hazard to navigation for satellites & spacecraft of other nations as well as their own. So no one is particularly impressed by this act of space vandalism.

travel
TRAVEL NEWS
Rip-Off London

Bus & Tube fares in London went up by 33% this month, and it now costs a wallet-crunching £4 to go one stop on the Tube and £2 for a bus ride in a single zone.
   The minimum underground fare is over 3 times that in Berlin & Tokyo, 4-6 times higher than in most other European capitals and an amazing 21 times higher than in Moscow, where the underground system is a true work of art.
   The government is behind the huge fares as it is labour policy to reduce congestion by forcing poor people off public transport.

black flagsBaggageless Travel
In the wake of equipment breakdowns and the pre-Xmas freezing fog episode, British Airways has come up with an interesting solution to the baggage mountain. Instead of returning it to the owners, some genius had worked out, it would be cheaper to crush and dump the luggage, and pay out derisory insurance rates. (Someone with a case containing skiing gear worth £1,000 would get just £100 in compensation.)
   Some 26,000 pieces of luggage were involved in the shambles, thousands of which are being sent to Milan, Italy, for sorting on the cheap, extending further the time spent apart from the owner.

black flagsYou still can't go skiing!
A lack of snow has blighted this winter's skiing season, but now that it has started to fall in reasonable quantities in the Alps, there's another problem. Off-piste skiing is the big buzz of the moment but anyone trying it just now is liable to find him/herself discovering at first hand just how difficult it is to survive an avalanche.

black flagsAttention trippers to Branscombe!
Anyone planning to loot the containers washed ashore from the wreck of the MSC Napoli in Lyme Bay are advised to take several big, strong mates along as the Devon police are now making sure that there is no access to the beach for vehicles. Anything removed by hand (or otherwise) must be reported to the Receiver of Wrecks within 28 days to be legal, and it becomes the looter's property if the owner or the insurance company fails to claim it within 12 months.

Screw Blair
WAR NEWS
Just so you know . . .

Various scribes in of the Daily Mail, and others, have offered the following guide to the troublesome factions of Islam and what they stand for:
Sunnis were the Saddam Hussein faction in Iraq and they use Saudi cash to support Al Qaida and/or Syrian cash to support their terrorists and protection racketeers in Iraq; and
Shias were the oppressed minority in Iraq, and they use Iranian cash to support Hamas, Hezbollah and death squads in Iraq, which extract revenge and pay-back from Sunnis, and protection money from fellow Shias. Confusingly, Iranians Shia are also supporting Sunni terrorists in Iraq to get back at the Yanks.

US flagWhat we all suspected is true!
It's official! An international survey of attitudes and opinions has found that most people around the world, including Americans, believe that the Bush administration is totally incapable of getting anything right.
   The survey team thought about doing a similar survey focussed on the blair administration in Britain, but they eventually concluded that most people would refer them back to the answers already given about President Bush, given the master-poodle nature of their relationship.

world news
WORLD NEWS
Indecent haste for a reason

Why were the Iraqis in so much of a hurry to hang Saddam Hussein? Because there's a little-known law still in their statute book which forbids the execution of anyone of 70 or older. Mr. Hussein was 69 when topped and heading for 70 in April of this year.

US flagJust to be clear . . .
The Democratic party of the USA would like it to be known that their presidential hopeful, Barack (rhymes with Iraq) Hussein Obama, has nothing at all to do with Obama bin Laden, the Al Qaida terrorist group's bank-roller.

No Swastikas!The Merkel Agenda
The German govt., current holder of the EU presidency, is trying to sneak in regulations making Naziphilia a crime everywhere else in Europe. Anyone who displays Nazi memorabilia or has a good word to say about the regime (e.g. invented the motorway and the Volkswagen) would be liable to a fine and/or imprisonment.
   The move is seen as a distraction from the threat from Islamic jihadistas and also as a present for unpopular left-wing regimes, which are doing badly in the polls everywhere.
UpdateHindus everywhere in Europe are up in arms and launching protests against the German attempt to ban the swastika, which was theirs long before the Nazi party was invented.

beerNot driven to drink, driven home from it!
The Irish govt. is seeking to revive its booze culture, which is flagging in rural areas, by providing late-nite bus services for drinkers frightened off the road by a campaign of random breath tests.
A change of direction out East
Russians are going off vodka! Sales have dropped by 15% since 2000 but the good news for the booze trade is that the average Russkie now has more cash and they're spending even more of it on better products, such as Scotch whisky.

Iranian flagOne more for the dustbin of history!
President Ahmadin Egad! of Iran has run into trouble with his boss, the Grand Ayatollah Bunchofcommies. He is about to get the chop because he has failed to do anything about his country's economic problems because he has been too busy picking fights with foreign governments and massaging his ego on foreign mutual congratulation junkets and other self-promotion schemes – a condition with which our current British passenger prime monster is all too familiar.

mouseWildlife Right!
In a classic tale of the tail wagging the dog, the Dutch parliament has decided that it can't use poison to get rid of a plague of mice in its offices. The Dutch Party For Animals, which holds just 2 seats, has threatened to hold its collective breath until it goes blue in the face if the rodent operatives don't use traps which contain without killing, and allow the pests to be released unharmed somewhere else.

This Month's Garbage

The Garbage This year's New Year celebrations practically anywhere!

The weather at the start of the year.

The American evangelist Pat Robertson, who wants people to believe God told him it's going to wipe out millions of Americans sometime this year in a 'mass killing'.

corrupt blair labour minister struth kelly, another labourite who is sent her kid to a private school instead of a state school, and who tried to cover up what she had done, only to be outed by the Daily Mirror. Worse, when she was Education Minister, she made it official policy to close special schools for handicapped children to force them into mainstream schools.

scotch gordon broon, a scoundrel trying to wrap himself in the UK flag.

The Great Russian Winter, which has failed to deliver ice-covered rivers and lakes, in which Moscow's show-offs can splash & freeze.
UpdateThe Russian Orthodox church is now praying for snow and saying that God has it in for Russia thanks to Mr. Putin's misrule.

Everyone who gave free publicity to the 'reality TV show' on which a Bollywood actress from India was supposed to be on the receiving end of 'racial bullying'; especially the MP for Leicester East.

The notion that winning the Nobel prize lets you live 2 years longer.

cherie blair, who thinks she has a human right to blag freebies and exploit her position as the prime monster's missus to make money.

The Inland Revenue's on-line self-assessment system, which has crashed yet again as punters struggle to beat the January 31st deadline for filing a tax return. Which means that the government is planning to swindle thousands of people out a £100 fine. Which is probably why the system doesn't work.

The Forestry Commission, which thinks its employees have to 'reflect society', which is its excuse for wasting taxpayers' cash on a recruitment campaign for homophiles and members of ethnic and other minorities.

The Morrisons supermarket chain, which is asking people in their eighties how old they are when they arrive at a check-out with booze.

That scotch gordy broon belongs on a list of the 100 sexiest men in Britain!

Greater Manchester Police, which won't go after motorbike thieves is they aren't wearing a helmet in case they sue the police.

Multiculturalism, which is now getting the credit for fostering Islamic terrorism and turning mosques into recruiting centres for the Moslem version of the National Front.

The BBC, which skipped over the latest chapter of Downing Street arrests and the deletion of cash-for-questions emails on a secret email system as part of its policy of being nice to corrupt blair labour.

 
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